Self-Discovery Through the Enneagram Personality Test

My whole life, I've been drawn to public speaking. Was this because my parents were Pastors? I feel that everyone in my immediate family, the one in which I grew up in, was drawn to a public & social mindset. For the longest time, I believed that my mom, dad & sister were all extroverted, social butterflies. Little did I know, I was not totally wrong, but not totally right either. They each have their own stories and how and where they grew up, along with their psyche and personal wounds received at a young age, which have made them into the people they are today.

        Being a Sociology major while minoring in Criminal Justice, I intentionally focused on Youth Gangs. That being said, a popular theoretical perspective for social work is called "Person-In-Environment". Oxford bibliographies define it like this: "A person-in-environment perspective is said to provide a more adequate framework for assessing an individual and his or her presenting problem and strengths than an approach that focuses solely on changing an individual's behavior or psyche, or the one that focuses solely on environmental conditions."

So, as I look introspectively at my life, I see how my environment has helped shape me into the man I am today. It was an amalgamation of many different factors. And after some negative life choices, positive life choices, and other choices that derived from my nature and personality, I came to learn of a tool that has helped me better understand myself. And as I better understand myself, I start to have more and more compassion and empathy for those around me and society as a whole. What is this tool, you ask? Wait, we will get there.

       I remember taking my first personality test. I had just come out of a negative lifestyle after the Army. I took a job in California as a Sous Chef, and all of the paid staff and volunteer staff were encouraged to take this test. It was a very well-known personality test; the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTi). At that time, I was an ENTJ. That means I was Extroverted, Intuitive, a Thinker & a Judger. This told me what my basic personality was, and at the time, it was kind of cool to use it as a tool to relate to others. But it never answered the question of "why?". Since then, I had taken the Clifton StrengthsFinder 2.0 test, and that told me what my professional strengths were. Individualization, Ideation, Context, Strategic & Input. They were interesting findings and helped me better understand myself in a professional setting. Yet again, it didn't answer the "why?".  I've taken the DISC behavior assessment and wasn't impressed, so much so that I cannot tell you (due to memory) which letter combo I was. 

       Over time, I have been somewhat of a Personality Test Junkie. If there was a new one, "just tell me where I can take it!". I guess in a sense, I was having an identity crisis of sorts. I had an idea of who I was and was trying to find my identity...  yet at the same time, I was wondering why I still fell into certain patterns and ways of thinking. The "why?" never got answered. Until many years later and many tests taken, I caught wind of this personality test that sounded like a new age horoscope or something straight out of a book of the occult... probably because it made me think of the Pentagram. Either way, my friends who introduced me to it were associating themselves with numbers and "wings". But I had deep respect for them and gave it a chance. That night, they gave me a very simplistic understanding of this complex personality typing system called...

                                                  The Enneagram Personality Test

       I sat there and listened to these 5 friends delve into their personal types and what they thought others were. They were speaking another language practically. It intrigued me as to what they meant by some of their words and phrases. But, believe me, I asked a lot of questions. So much so that they told me to just take the test. I wasn't too happy with my test findings. I felt that some of the things resonated with me, but not all of them. It seemed to me that either this was a bogus test or I was missing something. So, I went back to my friend Jason. He was the resident expert on the topic, and he helped me understand a few things about the Enneagram. He helped me understand some things that really made a difference in how I saw this typing system.

 His wisdom was this:

1. The test is a tool that starts the dialog. The test is not the end-all, be-all.

2. Truly understanding what your type is might take a bit more reading than just googling each type.

3. Whichever type is the hardest to take in or speaks the loudest to you, is most likely your type.

        So, to better understand my type, I found a highly suggested book for those who are beginners to the Enneagram. The Road Back to You. Through this book, I found what my type is and my wing. But not only that, this book helped me to start to understand the question that I've been looking to understand for the longest time... "why?". That led me down this rabbit hole of self-discovery. I was on a knowledge high! I was discovering things about myself (and others) that I knew but was never able to put words to. I found a tool that helped me understand myself better. But I knew this book couldn't be the only info out there. 

A few months later, I went to a couples' conference on The Enneagram, but from a Christian perspective. It was nice to hear how others in ministry and in school and just doing life were using the Enneagram in their work, classes, marriage, and relationships. But after that conference, I now had a list of books to read to help me better understand this tool that was like an introspective microscope. 

        The next book I read was The Path Between Us. As I finished that one, I promptly started The Sacred Enneagram: Finding Your Unique Path to Spiritual Growth. I have since read 17 more books from both Christian and non-Christian perspectives.

       I was [am] hooked! I couldn't [can't] get enough! I've learned so much reading these books. But I got so excited about all this wealth of knowledge that my family literally asked me to talk about something else. It was all I talked about! So, as I did my best to refrain from talking about it so much... to them. But then people started asking me about it and needing clarification on certain things. I helped others understand their strengths and weaknesses. I helped friends and family learn to give themselves a bit of grace when dissecting their wounds, using the Enneagram. My friends and family began to see a passion rise in me. They saw how excited I was when talking about this. But I didn't want to use this tool selfishly. I wanted to share it with everyone! To show them how to better communicate with others. How to understand their weaknesses along with their strengths. When other personality tests would only show strengths. I wanted to show people how not everyone is the same and that there is no "rule of thumb" as to how people should think or act. We are all a product of our environment, family, influences, and many other factors. 

I am now writing a book on the enneagram. I think it is about that time.